Two Questions That Can Change the Direction of Your Life

At times in our lives when we lose our way or feel lost in the abyss that we call life, it’s useful to anchor ourselves through the lense of introspection. Certainly there is no one path to travel, but rather a unique way that each must find on their own. At times when I’ve felt lost, I’ve looked to these two questions:

1. Am I Enjoying This?
2. Is This Contributing Value to My Life?

For the most, part, these two questions alone can help answer some of the most difficult questions in life. If at any point in time the answer to both is “No,” then you should begin to start looking for a change.

Our lives are composed of things we enjoy and things we don’t; often times we find ourselves doing things that fall into both categories. Most of my memories of this trace back starting in my college years and I reflect on the fun times I had; midnight sledding in campus parks, partying early into the morning, or playing broomball at 12a on a weekday with tennis shoes on a sheet of ice. Perhaps these weren’t my most productive hours or contributing value to my life, but they were life experiences I enjoyed. I had an immense amount of fun. I played.

At the same time I remember those other days of college. The ones where I whittled away hours in the library during a Saturday football game, missing out on endless games of beer pong, shot-guns, and bags. Or the nights I was suiting up for work as friends poured through our front door for a house party. Yet I knew the discipline I maintained, the time I was putting in was contributing to my future – obtaining a degree from a top ten university. Did I always enjoy it? No. But did it contribute value to my life? Yes.

I’ve found that the same two questions apply to other parts of life; relationships, friendships, career paths, or even a bad choice of movies. With relationships, some relationships are maintained for the fun and adventure of it, other’s may face hard times which are not so enjoyable, but yet you push forward in the hopes that there will be a future ahead that could change your life. However, when the answer is ‘No’ to both “Am I enjoying this?” and “Is this contributing value to my life?” it’s time to break it off.

I continue to reflect on these same two questions through-out my life. In 2013, as I was facing a drastic career and lifestyle change. When asking myself these two simple questions, what was previously an overwhelming and insurmountable decision became rather simple.

Was I enjoying the work I was doing? While early on the answer was yes, the honeymoon soon faded into the past, along with the enjoyment. Was my position contributing value to my life? Again, had I asked that question to myself a year or two earlier, I would have said yes. Perhaps I wasn’t enjoying the work, but I was developing my skills, my “story,” and my experiences; experiences I could leverage. However, looking forward, the marginal value was meager. Perhaps another 6-12 months would have gotten me promoted and allowed me to work on other endeavors  but the value was unjustifiable. Thus when posed with the opportunity to effectively be promoted, get a raise, and move to Chicago, the answers to both questions quickly went from No’s to Yes’s.

Often times in life we find ourselves at cross-roads, not knowing in which direction to turn. Doubts, fears, and concerns can easily cloud our judgment. For many, the shear fear to change can be paralyzing. But when you take the time and ask yourself the questions that really matter, you are empowered to cut through the haze of the fog that obscures your vision of the future and make the decision that’s best for you.

Like the rudder of a ship, you must always course correct; otherwise, you’ll just find yourself going in circles. These questions must be asked of yourself continually. Just two years later, I found the same two questions creeping out of my sub-conscience. By 2015, I had two years, a host of banking consulting projects, and a recent promotion under my belt. Yet, the newness of the roles where waining and the corporate script continued to play like a broken record. New projects, same problems with no change in sight. I wasn’t happy professionally or personally, nor did I feel as though my career path was providing me any more than a paycheck. A change had to be made.

Change is never an easy endeavor, but when compared to the inert alternative it becomes much more appealing. For a lack of better words, my previous change has been more or less a safe one from one consulting company to another. Clearly this path wasn’t working out for me. I felt a drastic change had to be made in order to have any chance of finding whatever it is that I was (am) looking for. While my previous motives had been that of financial security, I decided to change my approach and seek out passion and that which excites me. I also knew that I needed to address the personal short-comings I was facing. As a traveling consultant, you are afforded many great experiences, free flights, fat stipends, and luxury amenities, yet the emptiness of maintaining short-lived relationships defined by the duration of your projects, seldom sleeping in your own bed, and frequently eating and drinking with only the company of the bartender or co-workers you can’t escape leaves you with some voids in your personal being.

This time around I demanded of myself that I make a change for the better and for me that meant finding a role in a city that would allow me to flourish both professionally and personally. It took me nearly 6 months to find that ‘next thing’ and while I can say the the answer to both questions is ‘Yes’ now, I don’t know that that will always be the case. All I know is that I must have the awareness to continually ask myself the hard questions and the courage to act upon them.

So apply these questions to difficult circumstances in your life, “Are you enjoying this? Is this contributing value to your life?” If not, it’s time to make a change.